Mike took me to lunch at his Kiwanis Club yesterday because it was their sweethearts day for spouses and they had a special speaker coming. The speaker was the head of the counseling department at the university here and he gave an excellent talk on love, it's meaning, and how to be a great spouse. My favorite quote from him is,"Maintain your standards, lower your expectations!" He said he defines love as: The will to do what's best for the other person, and then ultimately the will to do what is best for the relationship. Mike and I both loved that definition because that is part of what has made for such a great marriage for us. The other is just luck!!! The doctor also said that anytime you are falling in love it is infatuation(which is news to me), and that true love grows over time. So afterwards I went up to him and asked how you can tell the difference between infatuation and love because I have 5 daughters and don't want them to marry someone when they are just infatuated! He said he recommends 5 different experiences for couples to have together before they get married to see how their partner handles different situations and how compatible they are. So the 5 things he recommends are: 1)Babysit together-to see how your sweetie responds to kids and if you have similar parenting styles 2)Balance a checkbook together- see if your money philosophies are similar 3)Talk about chores- who does what? 4)Talk about Religion- will you go to church every Sunday, and how often do you want FHE, prayers, scriptures, visits to the temple, etc 5)The Bedroom... after you are engaged but before you send out the announcements, take the time to talk(and not in the bedroom!)about what your expectations are for your sexual relationship. If you have a partner who will just tolerate sex, it would be great to find that out before you are married! Anyhow, Mike and I had a great time and loved getting some expert advice that will hopefully benefit our girls!
Ps The cutie in the pic above is my nephew Wyatt!
That is great advice on how to see what he will be like. Sloane and I went to the temple to pray about us and I waited in the waiting room and prayed while he went into a session. When we were engaged we read the Ensign together, He instigated it and still does. I was also babysitting these cute little Hawaiian girls often and Sloane would come over to help and he was their jungle gym, yes the way he interacted with them really impressed me the most! All great advice, love it!
ReplyDeleteI don't know why it does that sometimes signs in as Ellise and not me. Anyways I also forgot to mention that that picture is adorable, what an adorable kid!!
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